God Hates You (and Here's Why!)

Once again, I am running out the clock on this BTR subscription. You can hear crystal clear, CD-quality episodes of this podcast at my website, The Lord of Satire, and through my syndication service, Liberated Syndication. On this episode... Oh yes, my gentle lambs. God will not truly be happy until your sinful souls are writhing in eternal agony in the fiery pits of perdition. So many sins. So much butt piracy! Glenn Beck knows! Glenn Beck ASKS God to kill us… he DEMANDS it, as long as God takes a few minutes to recall the faces — like his chubby, tear-streaked face — of those who have tried to do good things. But I fear it is too late. REVOLUTION is in the air! 44 percent of Republican believe that an ARMED INSURRECTION will be necessary in the near future to maintain our civil rights. What did we expect when we went and elected a — you know what — to be president. But you can't SAY that, because if you go around using words like that, they'll call you a racist. Even if some of your best friends are — those people. We'll listen to some Civil War Conservative Talk Radio and have a laugh at the expense of “Our Racist Past.” Remember Erik Rush, the guy who wanted to kill all Muslims right after the Boston Marathon Bombing. Yup. Guess who he's calling “Human Garbage” now. And guess who's oppressing WHITE CHRISTIANS now. You'd be surprised! What words can a youngster find when the time comes to tell his mom and dad that he's a sinner, that he eats pork and wears clothing of mixed fabrics? And Texas Senator Ted Cruz for President? Don't be ridiculous. He hasn't even served a full term and they're talking about him running for President? Don't you need to spend some actual TIME in the Senate before you… Um… Never mind.

God